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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631508">Balance My Heart in the Palm of Your Hand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukis_fans/pseuds/sukis_fans'>sukis_fans</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ATLA WLW Week 2020, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Ty Lee (Avatar), F/F, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lesbian Mai (Avatar), M/M, Mai (Avatar)-Centric, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Pining, Protective Katara (Avatar), Toph Beifong Being Awesome, background kataang, background zukka, jealous mai, mailee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:40:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukis_fans/pseuds/sukis_fans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ty Lee caught her eye, and Mai knows the look is only for her, feels Ty Lee trying to convey something in her eyes, something Mai feels travel down to her very core and curl around the calluses in her palms.   Mai tries to reciprocate that very same feeling, tries to channel every drop of love Mai has felt for Ty Lee throughout her lifetime.  She nods her head and shoots her a small smile, something reserved for the only girl she’s ever allowed herself to feel something for."</p>
<p>Mai realized she was in love at the Boiling Rock when Ty Lee had risked everything to save her. Five years later, Mai can't help but think about her all throughout the night as she watches her perform at the circus one last time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang &amp; Toph Beifong &amp; Katara &amp; Sokka &amp; Suki &amp; Zuko, Aang/Katara (Avatar), Azula &amp; Mai (Avatar), Katara &amp; Mai (Avatar), Katara &amp; Sokka (Avatar), Mai &amp; Sokka (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka &amp; Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Balance My Heart in the Palm of Your Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first work in the fandom, hope you enjoy!! This is for Day Five in the ATLA WLW week for the "pining" theme.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ty Lee is graceful in a way no one else can be.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She keeps her limbs light and airy as she jumps through the air, back arched and lithe body curved in a way Mai thought to be impossible until now.  Ty Lee lands on the tightrope on the very tips of her toes and Mai can’t help but think she looks so very regal in her acrobat ensemble, a poised look on her face when her partner hoists her high up in the air.  The light from the lanterns emits an orangy-red glow that makes her skin shine in such a manner that makes her look so <em>ethereal. </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai can only stare.  She’s glad she’s lost in the audience, surrounded by others who are also staring at Ty Lee in awe and astonishment- maybe not in the same way Mai is gazing at her, but right here, at the top of the stands, no one can notice how undoubtedly in love Mai is with Ty Lee.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai likes to believe she hides it well, only ever allowing herself loving glances during nights like these when Ty Lee performs her way through a show and there are too many doting fans for her to notice Mai’s pining.   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because that’s what it is, right? Pining.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the span of five years, all the subtle touches, midnight conversations, and airy laughs have compiled into such gut-wrenching longing, Mai can hardly stand being in the same room as Ty Lee without feeling like all her talks about colorful auras are the only things in this world that make sense. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or maybe she’s wrong and this whole pining thing didn’t start five years ago when Ty Lee had risked her neck for Mai at the Boiling Rock.  Maybe it’s been a lifelong thing.  Or maybe it started when they were ten and Zuko had pushed her into a fountain to save her and all Mai could think about was how she’d rather have Ty Lee be the one to rescue her from Azula’s antics.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But none of that matters now.  Not when Ty Lee’s partner falls off the tightrope and onto the net and now Ty Lee becomes the center of attention.  The crowd gasps and one of the performers even screams, but it’s all theatrics of course.  Mai has been allowed to attend enough rehearsals to know this part had been planned out just so Ty Lee can have the crowd’s attention all to herself.  Mai can pretend there’s no one in this circus tent but them.  No one but Mai with her heavy heart and Ty Lee with her grace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But that peace is disrupted when Ty Lee looks up into the crowd and her eyes find Mai’s.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Though she doesn’t show it, Mai internally panics.  She tenses, she could feel her heart rate spike as she starts thinking, <em> she knows, she knows and now things will never be the same and sh- </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee’s eyes shift to the right and she smiles ever so slightly, the corner of her full lips raised and pointed at someone who definitely isn’t Mai.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course... it’s Sokka.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee has been eyeing him ever since they fought all those years ago at the formerly conquered city of Omashu.  She’d taken one look at him and his lanky form, water tribe get-up, and his tiny little ponytail and declared him her newest crush.  She’s taken even more interest in him now after having grown out of his awkward teenage years.  He’s taller now, more sure of himself, and has filled out after spending the rest of his life mastering the art of sword-fighting.  Mai has never really been attracted to men (Zuko doesn’t count.  They’d been lonely and war-torn and had clutched at the closest thing two confused teens could call a relationship), but even she must admit Sokka is easy on the eyes.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A little too easy on the eyes if Ty Lee’s blatant staring is anything to go by. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai slightly turns her head to catch sight of Sokka.  He smiles as he sends Ty Lee an enthusiastic thumbs-up with his left hand.  His right hand sits on Zuko’s lap, tightly clutching the Firelord’s fingers as if afraid he’d run away without his boyfriend (having dated Zuko in the past, Mai wouldn’t be surprised if he did. He always did have a flair for dramatics).  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai doesn’t know the exact details of how they started dating.  All she remembers is how happy she’d been to be free of their oblivious flirting, longing stares, and constant denial (mostly from Zuko) about their feelings towards one another.  They’d finally gotten together about a month ago and they’ve been happier ever since.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She remembers the week they got together and she accompanied Ty Lee on her bodyguard duties as a Kyoshi Warrior.  They’d followed the boys to the turtleduck pond but stayed a couple of feet away to give them some semblance of privacy.  Ty Lee had said they deserved it, <em> Agni </em>knows they don’t get to go out enough with their extreme workload.  Mai had only given them space because she didn’t want to be subject to their lovesick conversations- she gets enough of that on a daily basis. She can’t imagine how insufferable the two boys would be like together on a date out of all things.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee had giggled into her gloved hand of her uniform when Mai had told her that.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “C’mon, they can’t be that bad.  At least Sokka’s something to look at”, Ty Lee sighed dreamily, she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear after the boys looked back at her.   </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Mai had quirked a brow, resolve shattering as she asked, “You do realize he’s now taken, right?  By our friend nonetheless.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “What Zuko doesn’t know won’t hurt him.  Besides”- she spread her fan open and began to cool herself, the reflection shined on her face as if blessed with the brightness of a thousand suns- “looking isn’t a crime.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai had been quick to correct Ty Lee, jealousy and longing left a foul taste on her tongue after her disapproval had hung in the air.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was being a hypocrite of course.  Mai’s eyes hadn’t left Ty Lee since the second this circus show had started, even when she wasn’t the main act, Mai had subtly searched for the swing of Ty Lee’s braid that now reaches the curve of her hips.  Mai remembers constantly detangling the silky strands while they were soldiers in a war they didn’t ask for.  Remembers how Azula had caught her one night at Ember Island, slim fingers still in Ty Lee’s hair even after she’d fallen asleep.  How the morning after, Azula had pointedly questioned if Mai ever fixed up Zuko’s top knot, or if her hairdressing skills were only reserved for her <em>special </em>friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai had stayed silent, fingers itching to reach for her knife and to lodge it somewhere that would make Azula lose her smirk.  But she hadn’t, Mai had been around the Fire Nation royal for enough years to know that Azula’s anger was a death sentence at best, and Mai had hoped she never had to stick around long enough to see the worst. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Azula had never mentioned the incident again after that morning.  That was when Mai had realized that Azula was capable of giving her some semblance of mercy, even the smallest of one.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai’s thoughts are interrupted by callused fingers brushing against her forearm.  She tenses and side glances to the left to see who had disrupted her focus towards her best friend.  It’d been Suki, for once out of her uniform and instead wearing the latest fire nation clothing (given to her by Sokka, of course.  He had no issue spending his hefty ambassador’s salary on shopping sprees from time to time).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suki eyes Mai’s hand that’s gripping the handle of her new <em>kunai </em>- a gift from none other than Sokka- tight enough to make her knuckles stark white.  She releases her harsh grip and glances back up at Suki.  There’s an unspoken question in her eyes, a worried “are you okay?” trapped behind her painted lips.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai nods her head at the warrior, a silent way to alleviate her curiosity.  She doesn’t want anyone to know that a used to be fourteen year old still manages to get under her skin.  Mai felt so incredibly relieved when Azula had rejected Zuko’s offer to come to the weeklong celebrations for the fifth anniversary of the end of the war.  Even if she has been doing better according to her brother, even if she has changed, even if she’s no longer fueled by rage and violence.  The last time she saw her had been at the Boiling Rock, and Azula had looked so utterly terrifying, so ready to end fourteen years of friendship for a nation that didn’t love her the way she so desperately wanted it to.</p>
<p>Mai isn’t sure if she’ll ever be able to see her after everything.  They write letters to each other at least,  though neither of them has ever been much for small talk.  It’s mostly Zuko who gives Mai the details on Azula’s estate in Caldera.  Close enough to Zuko if he is needed, but far enough from the palace so that no “unnecessary” memories come back up again.  She deserves to heal, and Azula doesn't think she’s capable of that if she returns to the same home that was the cause of most of her pain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suki offers her an innocent smile before drifting her attention back to the show.  Mai tilts her head to see how the others are doing as well, or really to check if they’ve also bared witness to Mai’s slight anger.  Katara is resting her head against the Avatar who is enthusiastically recounting what’s happening to Toph since they’re on the wooden stands and she is unable to see with her feet.  Mai almost smiles when she sees the look on Aang’s face when Toph cackles at how the other acrobat has fallen.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The circus had announced that for the fifth anniversary they would be visiting the Fire Nation capital and had invited both the Firelord to view and Ty Lee to perform once again as the greatest acrobat the circus has ever had the fortune to work with. They both gratefully accepted as long as the invitation could be extended to his friends.  It’s always Zuko’s friends, not Mai’s.  She’s only ever had a long enough conversation with Suki and besides, Mai’s pretty sure Katara is still wary of her and Ty Lee if her constant quips are to mean anything.  They’re always in good fun, followed by an upward tilt of her lips, but sometimes Mai catches the way Katara’s shoulders lift with unease whenever Ty Lee unexpectedly rushes over to hug Suki or Sokka.  Sometimes Katara even angles her hand towards her water pouch when Mai jokingly threatens Zuko that she’ll throw a knife at his back ( which is almost always and sometimes not so jokingly, but Katara doesn’t need to know that).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai doesn’t blame Katara for her wariness.  She still sleeps with a knife tucked under her pillow because sometimes she wakes up at the dead of night thinking she’d heard something, a harsh whisper, the slow whine of metal against metal, and all of a sudden she feels like she’s been pulled into battle yet again.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The crowd cheers as Ty Lee lifts one leg up, leaving her balance dependent on her right leg.  Aang begins to clap almost hysterically and Sokka puts two fingers near his lips to let out a pitchy whistle.   Everyone inside the tent looks so utterly in awe and Mai can’t help but smirk.  No one knows what’s coming to them, this was merely the signal for the big finale, and oh was it a big one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shuzumu, the ringleader, stands on the ground, he waves his arms to try and catch the attention of everyone.  He cups his hands towards his mouth, his voice loud and booming when he hollers, “Let us hear more praise for our Pink Lady!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The crowd releases a roaring applause and Mai can’t help but snort at Ty Lee’s stage name.  It has been years since she’d last heard it back when they were thirteen, when them and Azula were still learning at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’d been in the courtyard, Azula had requested their presence there rather than to waste their time having lunch.  She’d been particularly on edge that day, Mai had come to find out that Azula was having her first war meeting as soon as school ended for the day.  Same age as her brother had been, but hopefully a different ending.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Azula had been practicing her drills and kept asking both Ty Lee and Mai’s rating on how strong the licks of blue flames were after every punch of a fist to the air.  Mai hadn’t understood why they were there, Azula rejected their every praise and only continued to work harder, tire herself mercilessly till her joints and bones became used to the excess of heat, till all the hair on her arms singed from the electricity coursing through her skin.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “Azula, can we leave now? Your forms are already so perfect, plus I’m starving,” Ty Lee moaned.  She played with the ends of her braid as she rested both her legs on Mai’s lap.  They were both sitting on the ground, far enough to avoid being caught on fire from Azula’s flames.  Despite Ty Lee being a non-bender, Mai still felt the heat go through her pant leg from where Ty Lee’s calves rested on Mai’s knees.  She stayed so utterly still and hoped that both Ty Lee and Azula thought her stillness came from her stoic nature.   </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Azula stopped practicing and for a split second, Mai felt herself flinch at her glare burning brighter than any firebending Mai had ever seen.  “Ty Lee, we all know you’re not hungry, you’re bored.  If you can’t stay still for more than five seconds then maybe you should find someone who’ll entertain your lack of patience.”  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Mai and Ty Lee were smart enough to catch the underlying threat that said, ‘Because I won’t, control yourself or leave.’  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> But Ty Lee was even smarter, smart enough to even fool Azula from time to time.  She grinned, eyes brightening like she just came up with a genius idea, and who knows, maybe she had.  “You’re right, Azula! Maybe I should find somewhere to go.  I heard the circus had some openings for the acrobatics act.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Azula had let out a laugh at that, cruel and sharp like the blade hidden inside one of Mai’s boots.   </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “Maybe you should try auditioning for the role of a circus clown, I can’t imagine anyone else being a bigger joke than you are right now.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Azula let out another cackle as she walked her way towards the entrance of the academy.  She waved a hand at both the girls in a short dismissal.  “I don’t have time for this, I have a war meeting to prepare for”- her voice wavered the slightest at the mention of her later duties, only a small inflection of her vowels, but Mai caught it and stored it in her memories as a reminder that the princess is still human despite the icy exterior- “talk to me again when you both start caring for the success of this nation.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Ty Lee and Mai had been left to their own devices.  Ty Lee still kept her legs propped up on Mai’s lap, the slightest frown took over her face as silence placed a heavy blanket over them.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “You should join,” Mai whispered.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Ty Lee was quick to sit up at that, her legs leaving Mai’s laps and spine straightening when she asked, “What?” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Mai tried not to think of the absence of warmth on her lap when she responded, “The circus, I mean.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Ty Lee looked absolutely bewildered, as if surprised that Mai had been listening to her at all.   </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> But all Mai did was listen, and all Ty Lee knew was neglect. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “You-you think I could make it as an acrobat?” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Mai shrugged, she looked off to the side to avoid the look of gleaming hope in Ty Lee’s eyes.  “Yes, you’re really good at that stuff.  You’ll probably even have a stage name.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> “That would be amazing! What do you think it would be? Maybe something like the Flying Flame, or maybe not ‘cause I’m not a firebender.  Ooh! What if it’s the Shooting Damsel?” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Mai snorted, “What about the Pink Lady.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She hadn’t mentioned it as an option.  Mai doesn’t even think she phrased it like a question.  Yet, Ty Lee had launched herself at Mai and thanked her numerous times for the lovely name.  Ever since then, Ty Lee has been using that stupid stage name since the second thirteen-year-old Mai had jokingly suggested it (and every time it’s mentioned she still blushes the same way she had when Ty Lee had hugged her for it).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shuzumu brought his right hand to the air and the crowd slowly silenced, their uproar reduced to furtive whispers and curious gasps.  From the corner of Mai’s eyes, she could see Aang leaning closer to the edge of his seat, eyes wide and interested in what’s about to happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The ring leader lowers his arm, Mai couldn’t help but roll her eyes at how deliberately slow he was moving to try and build up suspense in the crowd, and she rolls her eyes even harder when the crowd actually falls for his mediocre display.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For our final act, the Pink Lady shall face the wrath of ten thousand flames and only have the power of flight to save herself from the eternal fire!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai desperately wants to laugh at the confusion amongst the crowd, specifically Zuko (who already looks in distress ninety-nine percent of the time) who furrows his one brow and has his mouth slightly opened in a way that had Mai wanting to tell him to shut his trap before a wasp-fly crawled down his throat.  She almost told him, but then Sokka placed his fingers underneath Zuko’s chin to close his mouth for him, the small act of intimacy reminding her that she’s supposed to be watching Ty Lee, not her ex.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee places her leg that was up in the air back down onto the tightrope as the firebenders below on the ground lit the net on fire, emitting a heavy heat throughout the tent.  The audience gasps, parents clutch their children close to their bodies, a mother across the tent even covers her child’s eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko’s friends are quick to stand, Katara began to open the jug of water she kept strapped to her side, her face contorted into a look of pure worry. “What’s happening? What’s Ty Lee doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toph leans to grasp the railing, an almost maniacal smile forming on her face when as she says, “I don’t know, but whatever it is sounds fun,”- she let go of the railing to cup her hands around her mouth- “Ty Lee, wherever you are, do a flip!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone including Mai turns to look at Toph, but whereas everyone else gives Toph an annoyed glare, Mai looks at her in mild amusement, the corner of her lips slightly raised in approval towards the small earthbender.  Toph didn’t notice any of it, of course, it’s not like she can see up here on the wooden stands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee stayed still for a moment, eyes searching for something, no <em>someone.  </em>Mai just stares at her, completely absorbed in her presence, the unearthly glow she emits by simply being herself.  Mai watches as she sits amongst a sea of standing people, worries and fears etched so clearly onto their faces.  Ty Lee caught her eye, and Mai knows the look is only for her, feels Ty Lee trying to convey something in her eyes, something Mai feels travel down to her very core and curl around the calluses in her palms.   Mai tries to reciprocate that very same feeling, tries to channel every drop of love Mai has felt for Ty Lee throughout her lifetime.  She nods her head and shoots her a small smile, something reserved for the only girl she’s ever allowed herself to feel something for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee smiles back, teeth blinding and eyes so bright Mai feels her pulse quicken within her veins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee shuts her eyes closed and brings her arms high up in the air.  She takes a deep breath and the whole crowd goes silent, wondering what she’ll do next.  Ty Lee opens her eyes, sends a nod back to Mai, and falls back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The circus immediately goes into chaos.  Onlookers scurry and scream in worry of Ty Lee’s life, Zuko’s bringing his hands up to try and quell the flames and Mai has to shoot two knives from within her sleeves to keep Zuko’s clothing stuck to his chair.  Sokka shouts at her and tries to dislodge the blade from the hem of Zuko’s left sleeve.  Aang looks mildly bewildered at Mai’s actions but doesn’t hesitate to use his staff to try and fly to rescue Ty Lee.  He was halfway there when Mai threw one of her stilettos at one of the orange wings and he ungraciously fell into the left side of the crowd.  Mai would feel bad if she didn’t know that that was the third staff the Mechanist had made for him after he broke his second one trying to fly with a colony of flutter-bats.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toph is one of the only few not springing into action, Mai figures it’s less about her not knowing what’s going one, and more about finding enjoyment in the complete and utter chaos erupting around them.  Mai would have joined her if she wasn’t so worried about what Katara was about to do with that stream of water she bent above her head, however, Mai didn’t have to deal with it since Suki grasped both of Katara’s arms and bent them behind her back.  The water falls and drenches them all, but they’re much too distracted to care.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katara thrashes and tries to break free from Suki’s stronghold.  “What the fuck are you two doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai grimaces, Katara hardly ever swears.  She usually takes after Aang in the way they replace curses with much more friendly words.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suki tightens her grip as she says, “Don’t worry.  I accidentally walked in on Ty Lee’s practice once.  She’ll be fine, she knows what she’s doing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean by fine?! She’s going to die if we don’t do something!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Katara!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai never shouted, it’d only happened once at Ember Island and only because Zuko was acting like a stupid, jealous idiot and she has no tolerance for that (Mai still has no idea why he was even jealous to begin with; it’s not like he <em>actually </em>liked her).  She hasn’t shouted in five years, not at Zuko, not at stupid customers from the flower shop, and certainly not at Katara which would explain why she turned so still, everyone in their little group did.  At first, Mai thought it was because she yelled, but then she turned to see how close Ty Lee was to reaching the inferno, only a couple feet away from permanent damage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai’s heart leaps to her throat, beating so rapidly Mai feels like she’ll die of concern.  She has to subdue the urge to go down there and do something, do anything to save her.  But she doesn’t because Ty Lee knows what she’s doing.  She knows what she’s doing and she promised Mai nothing would happen to her, promised so many times Mai felt the sting behind her eyes and she trusts Ty Lee to not break any promise and-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The lion-vulture flew in sight.  It shrieks to notify Ty Lee of its presence and she switches her positions mid-flight to be horizontal, arms stretched out and palms open (Mai doesn’t even know how that’s possible, but then again, she didn’t know 117 year old monks could appear like a lanky teenager, so she figures anything is possible).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone’s face is a mix of shock and utter terror as the lion-vulture flaps its wings as fast as it could to get to Ty Lee.  Mai feels sweat building up against her neck, the flames are only getting hotter as Ty Lee hurriedly descends towards the pit of fire.  The lion-vulture flies faster and faster and Ty Lee only got closer and closer until all of a sudden they both disappear behind a wall of flames. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ten seconds… twenty-five seconds.  This was taking longer than any practice Mai had ever attended, even Shuzumu looks stunned as if this whole thing isn’t something they’d been preparing for weeks.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The circus is too silent, Mai feels fear consume her at the lack of fluttering wings, not knowing whether Ty Lee made it out or not.  Mai had thrown out her white robes long ago, she’d made a promise to herself that after the war there wouldn’t be any more deaths to follow, nothing left to mourn but a childhood she never got and now she’s afraid she’ll have to mourn her first and only love without having ever told her how she felt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s going on?  What’s happening?  Is Ty Lee okay?”, asks Toph.  She’s lost her excitement, baffled by the lack of sound.  No one answers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai feels a scream lodged down her throat, something so ear-splitting and <em>hurt </em>she doesn’t know if she could contain it any longer.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A cry began regurgitating up her chest, she tastes its angst behind her clenched teeth, and she was so close to just losing it, up until she heard the flap of wings. Until she heard an airy giggle, something so light and carefree it had to come from none other than Ty Lee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then she was there, sitting on top the lion-vulture, delicate hands tightly gripping the feathery mane of the creature she was on.  Her hair has come out of her braid somehow, it spills down her shoulders and flutters as the wind hits her face.  Her head is tipped back, eyes closed, the tiniest of smiles gracing her face.  Ty Lee looks like the type of inspiration painters look for and the kind of beauty sculptors spend their entire lives trying to recreate.  Mai wants to <em>cry </em>at how wonderfully devastating she looks.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The crowd breaks out into cheers.  Aang, who had clumsily been trying to break himself apart from the clump of people he had fallen on top of, starts whooping at the top of his lungs.  He’s the second loudest person in the tent, right after Sokka who keeps wavering his hands around in shock, switching between holding his head and furtively pointing at Ty Lee.  </p>
<p>Suki lets go of Katara, and as soon as she’s released Katara starts clapping, drops of water bounce from her fingers and onto Mai, and she is suddenly reminded of how drenched they are.  Her clothes stuck to her skin and her hair now hung in wet clumps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai scowls, the festivities are nowhere near over and her home was too far of a walk for her to just casually walk in for a simple change.  She’d have to spend the rest of the celebration with soggy hair and sleeves that were far too drenched for her to be able to draw her knives.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But then Ty Lee looked to Mai yet again, mouthing something she couldn’t quite catch, but it didn’t matter.  It warmed Mai enough that she forgot all about the stupid water (well, mostly forgot).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why is she taking so long?  Where is she?”, asks Sokka for the fifth time in the span of ten minutes.  They were all standing near the entrance of the circus, waiting for Ty Lee to come out and join them all for the rest of the festivities.  Sokka kept pacing in front of the tent flap, hands on his hips as he continued to pout. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katara rolls her eyes, arms wrapping around Aang’s waist from behind as she says, “Maybe if you ask that enough times, she’ll just magically appear right in front of us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai lets out a small snicker at that.  Sokka looks at her like he’s mildly offended, like he expects this kind of comment from her sister, but not Mai.  She shrugs, it’s not like she did anything wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka turns to look back at Katara and scoffs, “Look, I just want us all to enjoy the rest of the night as soon as we can.  We’re already behind schedule.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suki brings a hand up to her mouth as she giggles, “There’s a schedule?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka looks utterly exasperated as he shoots his hands up in the air.  “Of course there is! First, we go to Ty Lee’s performance, check.  Then we go to the puppet show, which by the way, I heard the actor who played me at Ember Island is voicing a puppet designed after me, so we definitely have to go to that and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sokka, hey,” Zuko reached for one of Sokka’s wrists and held it in the space between them.  Sokka slowly but surely brought his other hand down to hold on to Zuko’s open palm.  Zuko kissed the scarred knuckles of Sokka’s hands and Mai vaguely heard Toph gag at the intimacy.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sokka, calm down.  Ty Lee will come and then we can go and get you fire flakes now that you like them so much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The smile that formed on Sokka’s face must’ve been wide enough to hurt. “You mean those spicy sprinkles?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko, being the everloving grump he is, frowned.  “That’s not what they’re called.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toph, who had been picking at some dirt in between her toes the entire time, mutters, “Pretty sure those two are synonyms.”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Before Zuko could respond, Ty Lee emerges from the tent and immediately flings herself towards Mai. Her arms wrap around Mai’s neck, body flush against Mai’s front, and legs wrapped around her waist.  It’s a wonder she was able to hold herself up since Mai’s arms hung in the air in shock.  By the time the hug registered, Ty Lee had already detangled herself from Mai.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s clutching Mai’s hands as she beams up at her, they both have grown since their teenage years, but Mai somehow managed to stay two or three inches taller than her.  Ty Lee looks even shorter with her hair down, no longer in her signature braid. Mai wonders why she rarely if ever gets to see her like this, so small and precious and beautiful and shining brighter than the gleam of Mai’s blades.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee’s brows furrow as she surveys Mai as if just noticing the state of her clothing and hair.  One of her hands reaches for a wet clump of Mai’s hair and wraps it around her pointer finger as she says, “Mai, you’re completely soaked, what happened?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai, Katara, and Suki all looked to each other, eyes glancing between them to see who would be the one to explain.  Mai would rather die than explain how she attacked the group one by one just so Ty Lee can have the spotlight she deserved.  It sounded too desperate, like the kind of thing that frantic people did as declarations of love for the girl they’ve been pining for over twenty years, and Mai is anything but that (or at least out loud she’s not).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suki, being the wonderful person she is, places a hand on Ty Lee’s shoulder and says, “It’s a long story, but anyway, congrats on pulling off that stunt.  It was great.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just great?”, Sokka pushes his way to Ty Lee.  Mai has to take several steps back as he grabs her by her waist and spins her around a couple of times as he hollers, “That was amazing! You had me scared there for a second.  How were you able to change positions in the air? How is that even possible?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai couldn’t help herself when she sarcastically commented, “You’re best friends with a boy who lived inside an icicle for a century and <em> this </em> is what you find hard to believe?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka stopped his spinning to put Ty Lee down.  He looks completely flustered as he reaches behind his head to scratch at his neck, eyes looking downcast and bottom lip pulled between his teeth. Toph cackles as she walks towards Sokka to sock him in his other arm. “She’s got you there, Captain Boomerang.  Maybe you can use your ‘special math’ to figure this one out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He rubs at his arm where there’s sure to be a bruise forming.  He glares at Toph as he retorts, “It’s not ‘special math’, it’s called <em> physics, </em>and if you actually bothered to study the laws of gravity, you would know that what Ty Lee did is basically- well, should be impo-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, Ty Lee,” Aang interrupts, Sokka and Toph thankfully end their argument to hear the Avatar speak, “How’d you come up with the stunt? That must’ve taken some crazy planning to figure it all out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai caught how Ty Lee started bouncing on her tippy toes, rocking back and forth, alternating between her heels and the balls of her feet. It’s what she always does whenever she gets excited to talk about something, “Well, actually, it was all Azula’s idea! She felt really bad that she couldn’t make it to my performance tonight, so she planned this whole act for me to make up for it.  Isn’t that so sweet?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zuko scoffs, “She’s just the sweetest.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know right!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee’s excitement is contagious and soon enough Mai has to withhold the urge to smile; Ty Lee always had a way to make everything around her seem twenty times more interesting.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toph has her feet angled towards Mai, lips tilted as if in a smirk like she can feel Mai’s heartbeat spiking through the soles of her feet, which she probably can now that Mai thinks about it.  She finds herself wanting to fiddle with the edge of one of her knives, sharpen it around a hard metal surface, throw it against the wind and dare it to try and fight her back.  Anything to find some release, to justify her quick pulse without revealing her affection for a girl who will never love her back.  But she can’t, she had to place all her knives inside a bag Suki had lent her after all her clothes got drenched.  Sharp objects and damp clothing that easily stick to sensitive skin do not mix well.  Ty Lee would notice Mai pulling out her knife, she’d found out long ago that toying with blades was a nervous habit of Mai’s, a way for her to contain herself when she suddenly becomes too aware of her feelings.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee would pull her into her private tent and ask her what was wrong if she saw Mai pull out her weapons.  Mai doesn’t think she can lie to Ty Lee.  She’d have no other choice but to spill her guts out onto the circus floor, become the clown act no one asked for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’ll just have to deal with a speeding heartbeat and sweaty palms, hope no one sees the way her fingers twist into fists to keep herself from fidgeting.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Sokka wraps an arm around Ty Lee’s shoulders.  Mai felt her left eye twitch, his boyfriend is right there, couldn’t he just be affectionate towards <em>him</em>?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, I’ve been thinking, Ty Lee.  What if, and hear me out, you and I joined the circus together?  I got a few tricks up my sleeve… like my… boomerang!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He reaches behind his back to pull out his boomerang, the same one he’d thrown at Mai once all those years ago.  There’s still a scuff mark near the grip where Mai’s miniature <em>sai </em>had sliced at the weapon, knocking it down before having reached its full trajectory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a single raise of her brow, Katara quips, “Sokka, you’re not wearing any sleeves.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sputters, “Wha- Katara you know what I meant!”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>“It was also strapped to your back, not inside your non-existent sleeve,” adds Suki.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone bursts into fits of laughs and giggles at the sight of Sokka’s pout.  He crosses his arms against his chest and pulls an annoyed expression, but it’s no use, his eyes still gleamed with mirth, lips twitching up into a smile, and a look on his face so obviously filled with love for his friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Too bad Mai was the one to crush it.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t realize you had any talents besides making stupid jokes all the time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The laughter ceased.  Everyone, including Toph who always seemed somewhat amused at any jab towards Sokka, looked at Mai like she just killed someone.  She might as well have with the sheer devastation that shone in Sokka’s eyes as soon as she said that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Too far.  She knew she went too far the moment she said it.  But she couldn’t help herself, jealousy’s an ugly thing and it always found itself residing behind Mai’s lips whenever Sokka caught Ty Lee’s attention.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mai!”, Zuko seethed.  Mai blinked, she’s always the one to scold Zuko, never the other way around.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looks at Ty Lee who stares back at her like she’s disappointed, the edges of her full lips pulled down in a frown.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s too much.  Everything is too much.  And before she knows it, Mai’s turning to walk away, leaving without registering how her name is being called.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai’s been sitting on a field of grass just a couple of feet behind the circus.  She’s tossing her <em>kunai </em>in the air and catching it by the hilt.  Laying with it reminds her of how cruel she’s been to Sokka, not just tonight, but ever since Ty Lee had briefly mentioned his attractiveness over a month ago.  Mai’s being ridiculous, she’s behaving the same way Zuko had back when they were still “dating” back in ember Island: like a jealous fool.  She should apologize to Sokka as soon as she’s done brooding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She heard footsteps behind her, slow as if trying to catch her off guard.  Mai spun and angled her knife in a way that was supposed to be a clean-cut, but she stopped at the sight of an alarmed Sokka.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had both his palms up to show he’s harmless.  When he sees Mai lower her weapon, he lets out a relieved sigh. “Mind if I sit with you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai releases a long exhale.  “Yes, but you don’t really care about my answer, do you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I mostly just asked for pleasantry’s sake.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He plops himself onto the dewy grass, long legs stretched out in front of him.  He stares at the moon, a fond expression on his face as he takes in the fresh air.  Mai has heard rumors about his brief relationship with the Northern Water Tribe princess; she always thought the comments about her turning into a celestial being were purely exaggeration, a metaphor for something she didn’t quite understand.  But with the way he’s looking up at the night sky like the world revolves around the moon rather than the other way around, Mai doubts that was anywhere close to a lie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Sokka closes his eyes and allows himself to be bathed in moonlight and comfortable silence.  Well, comfortable is a stretch, and silence is a complete lie because he abruptly asks, “Why do you hate me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If Mai had been drinking, she would’ve spat it out by now. “What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka’s looking at her now, brows furrowed and head tilted to the side.  “Well, it’s not like you act like you like me.  You’ve been really rude to me, and not just today, but for weeks now.  At first, I thought it was because I kept buying everyone gifts but you, but then I got you a new knife and then you threw it at me an hour later.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We were sparring.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That didn’t mean you had to aim at my head! I <em> barely </em> dodged it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka drops his whole body onto the grass, he slaps his left hand to his forehead and scrunches both his eyes.  Mai follows suit, slowly, and places both her palms to the center of her chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If it makes you feel any better, this… this isn’t about you,” she whispers.  She hopes he missed it, that her words had somehow drifted out into the wind, but with the way Sokka’s eyes widened, it seems like he didn’t miss what she said at all, and not only that, but it seems like he understood what she was trying to say. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He brings his left hand to his side and stays quiet for a couple of moments, there's an uneasy air around them, and Mai desperately wants Sokka to squash it.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well… this is awkward.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What, why?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka swallows, he purses his lips into a thin line.  Is Mai’s crush that unexpected?  Is it hard for someone to believe she can love?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look, Mai,”- Sokka flipped to his side so he can place a warm hand on her shoulder- “I know you and Zuko had a thing a long time ago, and maybe it meant a lot to you.  I get it.  He’s a good guy, a little rough around the edges, but a good guy.  But, you know, we’re together now and well, you’re his best friend-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai couldn’t believe it.  Sokka thought… she would never… she can’t hear this anymore. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not in love with Zuko, you idiot!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka’s mouth hung open, eyebrows sky-high like he hadn’t expected for Mai to yell at him like that.  He drops his hand from her shoulder as if she’s a firebender running hot after an outburst.  </p>
<p>He clears his throat, eyes looking everywhere but at her.  He settles for the spot between her brows as he mutters a hurried apology.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka sits as if he’s gathering himself to leave, but Mai grabs at his wrist before he has the chance to stand up, she tugs him down, gently, to get him to lay down again.  He understands and settles back on the grass.  Mai keeps her hand at his wrist, afraid he’ll rush out as soon as she lets go, she needs to let this out before she explodes on him again because she was too big of a coward to tell anyone about how she truly feels.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A beat passes before Mai says, “Don’t apologize, I’m the one who should be sorry.  You’re not an idiot, you’re actually one of the smartest people I know, and I don’t hate you, not at all.  It’s just, well…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka places a hand above Mai’s.  She glances at him and the encouraging look on his face, he grins at her and lightly squeezes her fingers.  His touch is gentle in a way that makes Mai feel safe enough to spill her guts out.  She figures maybe this is what Zuko sees in him, what he couldn’t get from her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She inhales a large breath, waits for her lungs to fill and deflate before continuing. “It’s not Zuko… It’s Ty Lee.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A beat, and then, “Ty Lee?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She laughs and she suddenly feels so much lighter.  Like her limbs and bones aren’t so dense anymore, like she’s no longer carrying the weight of ten-thousand unrequited feelings on her back.  It should feel worse, scary knowing that someone knows.  Someone knows about how she feels and they could completely crush everything she’s worked so hard to conceal.  She’d been so afraid that opening up would lead to rejection, she forgot how good it is to let herself feel for once.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai didn’t realize she was crying until she heard Sokka’s quick intake of breath, He dropped his hand from hers and slowly reached to try and wipe the tears off her face with his thumb, his touch delicate and the pads of his fingers rough against her face.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh shit, are you okay? We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, I’ve heard more than enough.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai let out another choked laugh, she’d stopped crying as soon as Sokka had mentioned it, but it wasn’t what Sokka thought it was.  Tears of sadness were far and few in between, Mai doesn’t think she’s cried because of sadness in years.  Her mother had drilled it into her head that there’s no place for sorrow in the life of nobles, that weeping would only make her father look like a bad man, and they simply couldn’t have that.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So no, she isn’t crying because she’s sad, no, she’s crying because she feels so incredibly relieved.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, it’s fine I just-”, Mai wiped a hand in the corner of her eye to get rid of any tears she may have left, she doesn’t need that white crusty build-up that comes with sobbing your heart out -“this is just so stupid, you know.  Here I am, spilling my guts to the guy I’ve been jealous of for over a month now just because the girl I’m in love with has a crush on him.  And I shouldn’t even be jealous, you’re dating Zuko for <em> Agni’s </em>sake, it’s not like you would do anything to jeopardize what you have with him.  I just can’t help it, Ty Lee just doesn’t stop mentioning you and it’s so hard to-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She trails off, voice quieting as Sokka lets out a sudden burst of laughter.  And not just any laughter, it’s the slap in the knee kind of laughter, the arms flying in every direction kind of laughter, head tipped back, unceremonious snorts erupting every few seconds kind of laughter.  Mai wants to pin his three-fingered gloves to the ground, walk away and leave him out for the tigerdillos to catch him, see if he’s still laughing then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry”, Mai begins as Sokka reduces his hearty laughs to small chuckles, “I didn’t realize my angst-filled love life is so exceedingly hilarious.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not like that I promise. It’s just”- Sokka releases a couple more chuckles, Mai glares and Sokka is quick to sober up-“I can’t believe Ty Lee actually listened to Zuko’s stupid idea.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She blinks, once, twice, “What do you mean by ‘Zuko’s idea?’”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka pulls his lip between his teeth, all signs of humor suddenly gone.  “Okay, don’t get mad.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why would I be mad?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, no see you’re making that face, don’t make that face”- Sokka draws his eyebrows together, lips pulled down into a frown and jaw set to mimic whatever look Mai has on-“ I just said you can’t get mad.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai grinds her teeth together, if anything this conversation is just adding fuel to the fire.  “You can’t just say ‘oh don’t get mad’ and expect me to remain calm. You’re basically asking for it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka throws his hands up in the air, eyes pinched shut as if contemplating a life- or- death decision, which Mai figures this is since she’s about three seconds away from aiming her stilettos at him, see if those sword-master reflexes come to any use.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He opens his eyes and releases a much too heavy sigh for Mai to find any comfort in.  He pulls his hands down and wraps them around his chest, possibly to protect himself from an incoming attack from Mai.  “Fine, you can be mad.  Just promise me you’ll let me finish before cutting me up like those komodo-chickens you and Zuko like to eat so much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai considers her options.  On the one hand, she’s clearly out of the loop of something involving Sokka, Zuko, and Ty Lee and she just can’t live with knowing there’s something about Ty Lee she doesn’t know about.  On the other hand, if what Sokka’s about to tell her is as bad as he thinks it is, she doesn’t know if she can keep herself from expressing her anger in a way that doesn’t involve her precious weaponry.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She decides to let Sokka speak, she’s buried her feelings for a grand total of twenty years, a few more minutes of this won’t hurt her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks everywhere but her as he says without pausing to take a single breath, “So the day before Zuko and I’s first official date, Ty Lee walked in on me and Zuko eating dinner in his study, she came in immediately ranting to Zuko about something I knew nothing about, she didn’t notice I was there at first so she just kept talking and talking and then she brought up your name and I asked, ‘What <em> about </em> Mai?’ and like, she looked really shocked that I was there, you know, but I guess she didn’t really care that I knew and she brought up how you just wouldn’t notice how much she liked you and stuff and how you’re only ever like ‘my knives, blah, blah, oh woe is me, blah, blah’ she said it a lot nicer than that I’m just summarizing by the way, anyways she just wouldn’t stop talking about you and Zuko just really wanted to finish our little pre-date or whatever and he suggested she make you jealous because it totally worked when you did it to him back in Ember Island, but don’t worry I told him ‘Zuko, she wasn’t trying to make you jealous, you were just being a hotheaded, angsty, teenage idiot' and then I reminded him, <em> I’m </em> the plan guy not him, and that his idea was totally stupid and wouldn’t work on you, but now that I think about it, I guess it did, but- wait, where are you going?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai couldn't stay there a second longer, not when she finally knows, not when there’s an actual possibility of something happening with Ty Lee, not when she’s wasting every second left of her life listening to Sokka rant without even so much as breathing.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m going to go find that pink-wearing idiot that thought making me jealous was a good idea and tell her how I feel,” she says as she gets up and pats herself down, making sure there are no blades of grass stuck to her drying clothes.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sokka hands her the bag Suki had lent her and grasps her wrist as he asks, “Wait, we’re good now, yeah? We’re still friends?  You’re not going to stab me in my sleep, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai looks between Sokka’s hopeful face and the gentle hold he has on her wrists and for the first time that night, she allows herself a tiny smile, “Yes, we’re friends and I’m not going to stab you.  Can’t say the same for Zuko, though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can’t say the same as in, you’re not friends anymore, or you plan on committing treason by critically injuring the Firelord?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She releases herself from his grip and starts running away from the field and back to where the festivities are taking place, but not before shouting over her shoulder, “I guess you’ll have to find out another time!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai sprints to where they had been before.  She sprints as fast as her legs can withstand, arms swinging by her sides since she no longer has her weapons inside her sleeves and doesn’t have to run with her arms needle-straight behind her.  It feels so strange to run without a present danger, a target she needs to get to. She laughs, giggles lost into the wind as she speeds up at the sight of Aang and Toph standing in front of a food stand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toph’s the first to turn in Mai’s general direction, probably felt Mai’s quick feet using her earthbending.  “Mai? Where have you been? You were gone for a long time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai stops right in front of the two, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.  “Where… is… Ty Lee?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Aang steps up, face brightening as he says, “She went to her private tent; she said she had something important to do before going out to celebrate.  Hey, do you know what time the puppet show starts? I’d ask Sokka but then he went looking for you, and then Zuko went to go look for him, Katara and Suki left to try and get more info but they haven’t been back in a while, and since you’ve probably been to other Fire Nation festivals, I thought you probably know best so-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bye, Toph! Bye, Aang! Thanks for the help!”, she yells before dashing off to Ty Lee’s tent.  Somewhere in the distance, she hears Toph’s recognizable cackle and Mai can’t stop herself from smiling at the thought of Zu- <em> her </em>friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not long after, Mai found herself standing at the entrance of Ty Lee’s tent.  She stops for a couple of seconds, trying to desperately catch her breath as she plans some sort of big speech in her head.  Something along the lines of a big declaration of love, and a scolding for listening to Zuko’s idiot plan. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But all that goes out the window as soon as Mai steps into the tent and catches sight of Ty Lee, still with her hair down, fingers stuck in a couple of strands as she sits in front of a mirror.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai’s mouth goes dry, she opens her mouth to speak but she can’t.  Her lungs still haven't caught enough air from her run over here, and now all the wind is knocked out of her yet again as she looks at this familiar scene.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee sees Mai through the reflection, she immediately beams, a wide grin taking up half her face as she turns around and yells out, “Mai! You’re here, I haven’t been able to see you all night, how are you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai doesn’t answer, she can’t.  Not when Ty Lee looks at her with such longing and hope and honestly Mai should’ve known sooner.  She should’ve realized that whatever this thing between them is, it’s not just friendship (and maybe it never was).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, no, Mai doesn’t answer, but she asks something else entirely, “What are you doing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, well”- Ty Lee’s blushing, a cherry-red flush traveling from her cheeks to all the way down and Mai finds herself having a hard time staying focused on anything besides the nape of her neck- “I was trying to do my braid.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai stares at the undone hair, knots and tangled strands frame Ty Lee’s face.  “Doesn’t look like it’s going so well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee laughs and Mai doesn’t understand what’s so funny but she finds herself giggling along anyways.  Ty Lee’s happiness is contagious and Mai accepts her glee wholly, letting it erupt in fits of giggles and then later soft chuckles as they both calm down. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee grabs a brush off her stand and offers it to Mai.  Mai grabs it, tentatively, and wordlessly walks over to Ty Lee and starts to separate sections of her hair.  They don’t need to say anything, this routine is engraved in their bones, muscle memory taking over after years of caring for one another, nurturing one another when no one else would.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai’s close to finishing the braid when she gathers enough guts to say, “I’m sorry, for the way I acted tonight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai sees Ty Lee’s curious expression through the reflection, her brows drawn together in confusion.  “Can I ask, why were you so mad at Sokka?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai looks down, avoiding Ty Lee’s eyes as she ties off the ends of her hair.  “You want the truth?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee turns in her chair and grabs Mai’s hand, delicate thumb caressing her knuckles and slim fingers tracing over the lines of her palm.  “Yes, always.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai gulps dry air, she tries to carefully deliberate her words.  “I was jealous.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> Oh. </em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A thick silence hangs in the air.  Ty Lee momentarily stopped brushing different parts of Mai’s palm after she’d mentioned she was jealous.  She can't have that, can’t hand;e the utter stiffness in the air.  She flips Ty Lee’s hand over and starts caressing the creases in her fingers, Mai’s thumb skims the calluses on Ty Lee’s palm.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was afraid… I was afraid you liked him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee’s eyes widened, pink lips forming a perfect ‘O’.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She shook her head like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  She stands up, grasps both of Mai’s hands within her, and says, “That’s crazy! I mean, Sokka’s cute or whatever, but he’s definitely not my type.  Plus, he’s dating Zuko, I would never do that to him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai hopes she isn’t messing this up when she slyly asks, “then, if I may ask, what is your type?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai doesn’t regret asking that, not at all, because if Ty Lee’s extreme blush is anything to go by, Mai has hit the nail on the head with that one.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee snaps out of her sudden shyness, a smirk replacing the previous embarrassed smile.  Mai doesn’t know if she imagined when Ty Lee stepped a little closer, knees knocking together a bit. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I’d guess I have to say broody, has to have long, black hair, and an affinity for sharp blades.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmm, any possibility this is Zuko we’re talking about?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did I also mention she’s a she.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re a lot closer than they were before, at one point Ty Lee had wrapped her arms around Mai’s neck.  Mai isn’t sure at what part of their conversation had developed into Ty Lee standing up on her tippy toes to get a better look into Mai’s brown eyes.  She doesn’t think it’s fair that only Ty Lee gets to see her, so she tucks a piece of Ty Lee’s fluffy bangs behind her ear.  Her hand lingers, then slowly rests underneath her delicate jawline.  Ty Lee’s breath hitches and Mai wants to kiss and swallow down every gasp Ty Lee has left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so she does.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai brushes her mouth against Ty Lee’s and Ty Lee reciprocates by taking in Mai’s top lip.  Mai’s hands slip to grip Ty Lee’s waist, then runs her hands against her hips, through her hair, everywhere.  Mai wants to commit this piece of themselves to memory, wants to have remnants of their first kiss tucked into her palm, saved so later at night she can open her fist and feel this tingly again.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee hums her appreciation when Mai swipes her tongue against Ty Lee’s bottom lip.  The vibrato travels down Mai’s spine, makes her shiver and Ty Lee notices this and makes her hold on Mai’s neck tighter, bodies flush against each other.  Mai can feel the quiver against Ty Lee’s fingers that makes her want to get so much closer, till every surface of their skin is connected to each other.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai wants and wants and wants and for once she realizes that this is something she can have.  She can make every ambition true.  She can stay here forever kissing Ty Lee inside this circus tent and no one could demand anything of her otherwise.  She can have this moment for herself and Ty Lee and that though makes Mai so incredibly overjoyed she smiles into the kiss.  The angle turns awkward and Ty Lee snickers against Mai’s mouth when she accidentally bumped her nose against Mai’s, but Mai doesn’t care for any of it because this is just them being them, no pretenses, no war, and no jealousy to hinder what they have.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai reminds herself of this when they pull apart to take a breath, foreheads resting against each other and the very tips of their noses squished together, breaths mingling in the space between them.  Ty Lee cradles Mai’s head between her hands, she swipes her thumb against a scar near Mai’s chin, a tiny nick that occurred from a Kyoshi Warrior fan getting a little too close to her face one too many years ago.  Ty Lee brings Mai’s face closer to her just to kiss the edges of her scar, an act so tender Mai feels a sting behind her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She feels herself shudder as she closes her eyes and says, “I love you, you know that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ty Lee smiles against Mai’s chin, travels her lips across Mai’s cheek so she can whisper in her ear, “You know I love you too, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai nods because yes, yes she does.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stay like that, hearts beating against each other, Ty Lee’s head tucked underneath Mai’s chin, and supporting one another the same way they’ve always had. Ty Lee’s hands rub circles against Mai’s back as Mai presses a soft kiss against the crown of Ty Lee’s head.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know,” Ty Lee starts, “we should be going.  The group is probably waiting for us so we can go watch that puppet show they keep raving on about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai hums in agreement, yet she can’t find herself letting go, neither does Ty Lee.  They stand wrapped against each other like the world makes time for them, not the other way around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re right, but before we go,” Mai distances herself a bit so she can look at Ty Lee’s face, so pretty and something Mai can finally look at without feeling a tinge of shame.  She smirks, and a roguish tone takes over her voice when she asks, “Now, what’s this I hear about you trying to make me jealous?”</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments and kudos are appreciated (this is me subtly asking for validation lol).  Talk to me about Mailee, ATLA, and LOK at my Tumblr <a href="https://bisexualsukki.tumblr.com/">@bisexualsukki</a> :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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